[smurfsammy]

Wow I really feel sorry for you on this.

Not that we can judge as we don't really know the whole situation but it sound as if your brother (or probably more likely his wife) feel like they are lacking something in some way so any time anyone else is center of attention they don't like it. However I feel very sorry for the kids as they didn't do anything to deserve parents like that and so they should be offered the chance to be part of your day. Also as you say your brother is still in there somewhere (when his wife isn't around), sounds like he is putting a front on for his wife's benefit. I guess he made his bed and he is laying in it!

Anyway, I have a sister who changes every time she gets a new partner and she can become very elusive, bad mouthed, almost like a teenager sometimes. However I get glimpses of my 'real' sister so I know without doubt that she is coming to my wedding.

I agree with the others that you should invite them all but don't make any mention of paying for them and try to keep it quiet that you are paying for anyone to go except yourselves. Maybe you could offer to pay for the children to go then they can still be part of your day even if your brother and his wife don't want to go.

I don't think there is anyway you can make this a happy situation for everyone, unfortunately.

I hope you find some solution and it all works out whatever you decide.

Good luck and best wishes. Keep us updated.
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